{5} Chasing Away The Heavy Heart: EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY

I did not want to write much for this post. I think the quote above speaks volumes, equivalent to a million words I could end up writing if I wanted to.

It can get hard to visualise that things will get better when everything is far from okay.

Maybe you could save the quote above and put it up as your phone screen saver or background. Just a reminder - that you will be fine, just give it time.

{4} Chasing Away The Heavy Heart: THE PAST SHOULD SIMPLY STAY IN THE PAST

"THE PAST SHOULD SIMPLY STAY IN THE PAST"

I am rubbish at taking this piece of advice strongly enough.

40% of my thoughts are based on dwelling on my past and the future.

A complete waste of time.

I thought maybe I should compile a list of steps for myself as a reminder that the PAST is called the PAST for a reason.

"Past"

adj

1. Gone by in time and no longer existing.
2. No longer current; gone by; over.
3. Having existed or occurred in an earlier time.

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My (hopefully helpful to myself at the very least) list of ways to stop yourself dwelling on the past:

• Remind yourself that no matter how many times you think over past memories you cannot change them. They are done. Finished. Over. A closed chapter.

• Write it down - grab a piece of paper and a pen and let the words flow. Sometimes I have noticed that writing things down gives a sense of closure, that you are set free from the past because it is no longer in your head but rather safely down on paper.

I can also guarantee you that if you give poetry a shot in those moments, you will end up with a masterpiece of a poem that you will be proud to have written.

• Remember that everything that happens is in your Qadr, it was predestined, so do not kick yourself over it - just learn.

• As mentioned in a previous post, keep yourself busy!

• Try to work out why you are still dwelling on the past. Is it because you have left a problem unresolved? Why not try to fix it. Is it something someone has said to upset you? Or has there been a misunderstanding? If there is a solution to the dwelling, go ahead with it. Better than drowning yourself in it.

• Think positive - At the end of the day, you are the one in control of yourself, you are the only one that can decide if you want to be happy or not. You decide if you want to dwell on the past or not. Your choice. 

• Tell yourself 'enough is enough' - when you find yourself over-thinking the past, you need to be able to put a stop to it straightaway. Being mentally strong e.g. thinking positively, will help you put an end to the dwelling.  

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Obviously everyone spends some time stressing over past events and so forth, you just have to know when it is becoming unhealthy if for example, you are spending endless nights awake over it. But you should definitely know that there is always someone who will listen to you if you need to let it out, and if not I totally encourage putting it down in words.

Let's hope that I take this advice on board fully or else I am being absolutely no help to myself, got to always keep striving till the end!

P.S. I like how the above quote puts things into perspective, that today is what really matters, the 'now' is when you can make the changes you want to make, and that the past cannot be remade in any way.

{3} Chasing Away The Heavy Heart: DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

You know how they say, that the little things in life are what make you smile, well I am all for that!

Just for a moment, think back to a time when you were happy, or the simple moments you were happy in. 

Actually, scan through your mind and try to pinpoint activities/actions/events that you remember that had put a smile on your face. There must be something!

In my case, there were two things which would put a smile on my face.

One being reading - even though it did not necessarily mean it made me smile all the time, I can guarantee that when reading a sad book there were definitely moments I had tears streaming down my face. But those were the kind of tears I did not mind.

Another being writing!

So recently, I have tried to make time for these two things, anytime during my week that I can fit them in.

For example, writing this blog post is a way I can just go on and on about anything I want. Sometimes I write a poem, a very random one which probably does not make sense, but oh well, I enjoy writing it so that's what counts.

To make time for reading, I usually do my best to get studying out of the way first so I can just relax with a book, and even spend half a day during the weekend dedicated to reading.

Reading and writing are my little things in life that make me smile.

All you need to do is find your little things in life!

They may range from sewing, sports, drawing, cooking, baking, watching crazy YouTube videos, spending time with family and siblings, photography, drama and many more. 

And it does not even have to be any of those things mentioned above, even smiling at strangers could be enough to make you happy.

Find the little things in life and hold onto them. 

And ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS remember to thank Allah throughout all moments in life. Sometimes we can forget Allah in our happy moments but just work to change that. I am working to change that too.

I hope this post is helpful in some way or another, it's a bit all over the place but as long as it makes sense, all is good! This tip might not be easy for everyone but giving it a go would be awesome.

Till then, we shall all continue to strive. 

Image Source

To read the other posts in this series of sorts, just click on the label at the end of the post that says 'Chasing Away The Heavy Heart'.

{2} Chasing Away The Heavy Heart: COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

"Life is prettier when we thank our Lord for what has passed, what has remained, what is to come."

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Some days I wonder why I am not thankful enough for the abundant blessings I have been given in  life.

Every day that I live and breathe is a blessing.

My loved ones are a blessing.

The eyes that I use to see are a blessing.

The ears with which I hear with are a blessing.

The hands and feet I have been given are a blessing.

My existence and everything around me is a blessing.

But when I think about it, I notice that I do not appreciate each and every one of these things enough. I spend so much of my time thinking and complaining about what I do not have that I am completely at loss when I realise that I have been blessed with countless wonders which I do not give a seconds thought to.

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What is Shukr? 

- To be thankful/grateful

- To recognise the generosity and kindness given to us by Allah (swt)

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When times get tough, I forget the blessings of my Lord. I let the pain overtake all the beauty that is around me. The sadness in some way blinds me from seeing the plentiful I have.

How do I remember to be thankful to Allah in my moments of pain?

Those moments where everything seems to be falling apart, what I do is get myself to list on paper my many blessings. You could make this a daily or weekly thing where you note down all the great aspects of your life. You could stick the list up and look at it every so often as a reminder.

Remembering Allah during the day (Dhikr) is another way to always have that constant reminder of your blessings. For example, even something as small as saying the du'a for before you go to sleep is being thankful to Allah. You are remembering that Allah is the only one with the ability to give and take life. That is being thankful!

Even just saying Bismillah and starting an activity in the name of Allah is acknowledging the kindness of your Lord.

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

A positive effect of being grateful in this way is that you are remembering Allah in most moments as well as pushing away the unwanted negative thoughts that want to evade your mind. 

I hope this is another practical way in which you can chase away the heavy heart. Counting your blessings is easy and simple, and there are endless number of things in life to be thankful for. Find them and be appreciative!

Till then, we shall all continue to strive. 

To read the other posts in this series of sorts, just click on the label at the end of the post that says 'Chasing Away The Heavy Heart'.

{1} Chasing Away The Heavy Heart: KEEPING YOURSELF BUSY

وَأَنَّهُ هُوَ أَضْحَكَ وَأَبْكَى 

"...and that it is He alone who causes [you] to laugh and to weep." 

[Surah an-Najm 53:43]

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One thing I seem to find frustrating from time to time is that I can not find solutions to my problems straightaway. I thought maybe I should collate some of ways I attempt to block away sadness so that others can find solutions here.

So I decided to write a string of posts around 'chasing away the heavy heart'.

Instead of just writing about feeling down, I thought it would be much more practical to share how I drive the misery away.

One way in which I chase away the heavy heart is by keeping myself busy.

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Some days are easier to get through than others. I think we all have those days where everything seems to be weighing down on our shoulders, and it seems like too much.

Kind of like drowning.

What a lot of these moments have in common is that we are lonely at the time. It might not be the same for everyone, but I have noticed that with myself. I tend to dwell in sadness when I am alone or am doing nothing.

Well the number one thing to do is, STOP DWELLING OR OVER THINKING.

When I am alone, I get lost in my thoughts.

Over thinking is much like digging a hole and throwing yourself head first into it. I like to think of it as the poison of my mind.

Usually I know I am over thinking and I never do enough to stop it.

The best thing to do is to stop spending so much time in our minds.

But how do you stop spending so much time in that place up there?

By keeping yourself busy!

There are so many different ways to do so.

Some of the things I do include:

- Reading a book: Fiction, non fiction, why not even a revision textbook! Books are good at capturing your mind, it allows you to have time to just indulge in something else other than those sad thoughts that run circles in your head.

- Helping around the house: I have been doing this a lot recently. Tidying up maybe your room or helping out in the kitchen. If I am honest, it's not all that fun at times but I find that if I really put my mind into cleaning, my mind kind of creates a barrier against other thoughts. Not only that, there is a satisfaction to seeing a job well done by yourself.

- Friends: Being around my friends is a fab way to keep myself busy. They never fail to make me smile and they are always there for me when I'm low.

And FINALLY keep yourself busy in general, whether that is helping around at school/work, getting involved in new activities and classes. I am planning to do more of that, getting involved with new things. In'Sha'Allah I can start doing more soon!

I hope this post helps in one way or another, even if you take only one thing from it. I hope to write more posts on chasing away the heavy heart soon.

Till then, we shall all continue to strive.

To read the other posts in this series of sorts, just click on the label at the end of the post that says 'Chasing Away The Heavy Heart'.